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03:01pm 23/03/2006
 
mood: depressed
What I wouldn't pay to feel sexually attractive
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
   
05:04pm 13/02/2006
 
mood: depressed
Yeah.
We had to put my dog to sleep today.

I really don't feel like talking about it for once in my life.
 
      1 Kiss -  Kiss Me Gently
 
   
02:41am 03/02/2006
 
mood: pissed off
So tonight was my 5 MOTNH ANNIVERSARY WITH M BOYFRIENS AND I GOT DRUNK AT HE GAY FRAT AND IT WAS REALLY FU NAND WE WERE DANCING AND MAKING OUT IN FRON T OF THE GU YAND THE GIRL HE LOST HIS VIRIGNITY TO!! HAHAHAH!!! AND THEY"RE SO UGLY AND IT MAKES ME A LITLTE DEPRESSED THAT I'M IN A BOAT IWITH THEM CAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE SHIIIIIIT!!! AND SO THEN he gives me this CRAZY AMAZING LAPDANCE and I'm like, "fuck yeah baby! WE NEED TO GHO BACK TO MY DORM AND SCREW LIKE BUNNIES!" and he was like, "::IRAQI ACCENT:: NO, I'M TOO DRUNK!!!" and I'm all upset so I'm going to go jerk off, peel my face off, and cry because my boyfriend won't touch me in my no-no spot.

:'(
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
   
05:55pm 01/02/2006
 
mood: discontent
I had my second and probably last threesome two nights ago. God why does nothing excite me anymore?

I feel like life has become very much that, "hamster on a wheel," bullshit and I'm RUNNING RUNNING RUNNING and never really going anywhere. Which sucks because everyone knows I'm so PROGRESSIVE and I love going places.

School is so boring. Everything is a waste of time. Why do I feel like I'm squandering the GOOD YEARS of my life on all this bullshit like COLLEGE? More importantly, why do I feel like COLLEGE is a waste of my time?

I can't get a job because I find nothing to be stimulating. I mean retail was so much fun. I had something to do and I was doing something simple and enjoyable, with people who were easy to get along with and just kickass. And it's upsetting that I don't feel like I could find that anywhere else.

I hate dorm life. I pretty much hate living here. I mean some of the people are really nice it's just that I'm sick of this environment. And like I think we're all starting to slowly realize that if this was high school, none of us would have ever been friends. We're all completely different people. And diversity is good and all but when close to 60 people have nothing in common it gets rough and quick.

I'm sick of my friends. I'm really sick of being treated like shit and being put on hold for everything else. I don't feel like I've ever de-prioritized the people who have been important to me. And I feel like at the moment I'm so second place in everyone's lives.

And my relationship... well, that's been rocky since day 1. I told him that I loved him the other night, or, more realistically, he pretty much caught me on my shit. Like usual. Anyway, he hasn't said it back yet and I understand that, but I'm just waiting for the time when it's going to start tearing me apart. Because by all other means you would think that we're in love. We play the part rather well, or at least he does. There's cuddling and kissing and sentence-finishing and all that other fag-ass bullshit, but I just... it hurts, you know? There's knowing that he's there, but not all of him. I mean, I hope everything goes well, but outside of hope what else can I do, you know?

And myself. Well, yeah. Whatev. I'm sure I'll get over that sooner or later.
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
   
02:42pm 21/01/2006
 
mood: Hopeless
I think that my entire life can be summed up by these words:

I tried.
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
   
02:56am 02/01/2006
 
mood: cranky
I swear to God, if I hear one more resolution involving, "falling in love," I swear, heads will roll


In other news, I stumbled across a fabulous piece of wit.
"Every time a rapper dies, an angel gets its bling"

Goodnight, America
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
I <3 Freud   
01:53pm 26/12/2005
 
mood: Ponderationing
I psychoanalyzed my boyfriend... MEH HEH HEH. I've drawn conclusions based on behavioral patterns and personal history. He's so fucked cause now I got the bitch figured out.
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
   
12:31pm 12/12/2005
 
mood: content
Thanks Eric.

I now know to keep every journal post FRIENDS ONLY.

Sorry, Frankie, for fucking with your obsession. Maybe this time YOU are the one who shouldn't try anything stupid, hrm?
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
How True...   
06:48pm 06/12/2005
 
++Icons For You++ by burn_0ut_bright
Movie
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Girl
Love
Heartbreak
Random
Name
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Tell Me Something
Quiz created with MemeGen!
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
   
04:04pm 06/12/2005
 
mood: blah
I really want an exuse to dress up. Like I wish it was Halloween all over again because I really want to be in a costume right now.

I'm going to be an angel next year, which means I'll need to be a blonde again.

::sigh::

I thought relationships in college would be easier but that thought has gone to shit. LOL. I really don't even care anymore this is all bullshit LOL.

I'm in such a retarted relationship. I dunno, maybe it's healthy, and maybe that's why I think it's retarted.
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
It's called the Tango [Layth]   
02:24am 04/12/2005
  Blaaaaaah relationships are soooo tricky.

But I've got it down to a T... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

No I <3 him. Only <3. It's all too soon for love. Give me another few months. If it lasts that long. Who knows. I'm not making plans. Only enjoying the moment that is now. And panicking that it's all going to be over all too soon.

I'm currently listening to Rent.
I want to be every character in this play/movie/phenomenon

But I realize I'm too Maureen/Mimi/Angel/Mark to be anyone else.

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

This post took two hours to write. It was 2:24. It is now 4:06.

I had a great day. I'm getting married to Jesus.
 
      1 Kiss -  Kiss Me Gently
 
0   
11:31pm 28/11/2005
  stolen from shannons myspace. my score was a negative 5. [26 Nov 2005|01:37am]
Start at 50 and add or substract points as stated for each statement that applies to you...
Above 50 means you are closer to a virgin than a slut, conversely, below 50 means you are closer to a slut than a virgin.

Add 10 if you are a virgin
Subtract 5 if You have had sex before
Subtract 5 more if you have had sex with more then 5 people.
Add 5 If you have never had oral sex
Subtract 5 if you have had or performed oral sex.
Subtract 2 if you have had sex in a public place
Subtract 3 if you have done 69
Add 5 If you have never had an Orgasm
Add 5 If you cant name 3 types/brands of condoms
Subtract 2 if you have masturbated
Subtract 3 if you have fingered/ given a handjob to someone else.
Subtract 5 if You have used someone for sex(one night stand)
Add 5 if You have never seen someone of the opposite sex naked
Add 5 if you havent kissed more then 3 people(unrelated)
Add 3 if you havent been kissed in the past month
Add 2 if You have never masturbated
Add 5 if You have never seen or watched porn
Subtract 5 if you have made your own porn
Subtract 3 if you have participated in anal sex
Subtract 2 if you have used lube duiring sex
Add 5 If you cant remember your last perverted thought
Subtract 5 if you have used sex toys
Subtract 3 if you have had a perverted thought in the past hour
Subtract 2 If you have kissed someone of the same sex

Now post ur score as the subject and post as a bulletin
 
      1 Kiss -  Kiss Me Gently
 
   
04:56pm 26/11/2005
 
mood: thankful
So I was reading everyone's thanksgiving posts and everyone is writing what they are thankful for. And I think that's really... well I dunno, but I'm buying into the hype. Fucking bandwagon effect.

I'm thankful that I got to go to college. Seriously, we don't really consider how important this shit is. I got to GO AWAY and see a whole new world, full of adventures and love and possibilities. And I don't have anyone behind me pushing me. I have to push myself for once. And I really love it. I really love that I'm learning to want for me and me alone without getting caught up in what everyone else wants for me.

I'm thankful that I grew up where I did and, for the most part, who I did that growing up with. Because I suppose I'm here. And I wouldn't be without assholes and best friends and good times and parties and heartbreaks and whatnot. Everyone's been so integral in my development and I love that so much. That everyone's got a little piece of me to be responsible for. And I don't think it's been really all that bad, to tell you the truth.

I'm thankful for Layth. Because he's been so good to me, in my life thus far. And it's only been like three months or whatnot but still... Je le heart. I think this might go places. I can only hope my relentless mental disorders keep him entertained enough to stay with me for a while. Maybe I'm just a fun person.

I'm thankful that I haven't gotten an STD yet or anything like that. I'm going to go get tested because it's REALLY important to me and I've been SO FUCKING LAZY about it. And I hate myself for that.

I'm thankful that my parents are still dumb enough to spend money on me, that they're slowly starting to cope with the fact I smoke cigarettes and cock. Maybe I won't have to cut them out of my life after all, or maybe I will. Who knows. College is still a long way from over even though the first semester is like practically OVER!!!

And most of all I'm thankful for all the love I've gotten over the years from everyone. Because I think Love is something you need like air or water. It keeps you going, knowing someone loves you. I dunno, I guess it's really dumb and cliche. But It makes me feeeeel a lot better knowing that I have someone to wake up next to or someone to call during the day to talk about something retarted. I'm not so far along where I don't need anyone just yet in life.

And that's what I'm thankful for bitches. Yeahhh.
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
   
08:39pm 25/11/2005
  Be honest!

I've kissed someone....

[x] on the cheek

[x] on the lips

[x] on their neck

[x] on their stomach

[x] on their hands

[x] in my room

[x] in their room

[x] of the opposite sex

[x] of the same sex

[X] younger than me

[x] older than me

[x] with black hair

[x] with curly hair

[X] with blonde hair

[x] with a tattoo( maybe. I'm not sure lol)

[x] with straight hair( does a buzz cut count)

[x] shorter than me

[x] with a lip ring

[x] with a tongue ring

[x] who was drunk

[x] when i was drunk

[x] taller than me

[x] who was high

[x] just before bed

[x] late at night

[x] who I really didn't want to kiss

[X] who was going out with someone else

[x] on a bed

[x] two people at the same time

[x] right after you've kissed somebody else

[x] on a playground

[x] against a wall

[x?] at a show

[x] at the beach

[x] in a pool

[x] who was/is a good friend

[x] in the rain

[x] in a car

[x] in the movies

[x] in a bathroom

[x] in the dark

[ ] on a roof top

[x] under water

[x] at the park

[x] while people were watching

[x? Have I Dercher??] the person who you copied this survey from


Wow I'm a kissing slut.
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
   
03:59pm 20/11/2005
 
mood: depressed
Maybe it's really wrong that I'm not completely afraid of my own mortality.

Like I feel like everyone else is really afraid and I don't think that at this moment dying is such a bad thing, you know?

I dunno, I feel like I've gotten pretty much everything I wanted done and sitting around waiting for anything else is like pointless bullshit. I mean granted I don't have everything I want but the further I get into all of this the more I just realize that hoping or expecting anything from anyone is just kind of retarted and naive on my behalf.

I really hope that if I died tomorrow that no one would care. Really. It kind of upsets me thinking that I'd have a lonely funeral but like I think it'd be so much better in the end if no one was really upset by the fact that I wasn't around anymore. Because everyone really deserves to have to deal with tragic loss, and I'm not a tragic loss. So yeah.
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
Change for anyone, like you...   
12:39am 18/11/2005
 
mood: cynical
I know this is tragically emo, like most of my still-in-HS-brooding-emo-bullshit phase, but...

Sometimes I feel so alone, and not in the sense that I don't have people here, just that I'm really alone, you know? You're probably clueless as to what I mean but it doesn't really matter that much.

-PS-

Is it so wrong that I'm like in puppy love with Ashlee Simpson?
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
   
11:05am 16/11/2005
  Jesus Christ, college drives me CRAAAAAZY.

I just realized how pregnant I would be if I were a woman and if I had a vagina.

Damn I've been hitting it hard.

My poor intestines.
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
   
05:27pm 11/11/2005
  I want to be a 50s housewife when I grow up

-PLUS-

Manic Depression is not a fun disorder
 
      Kiss Me Gently
 
   
04:34am 04/11/2005
 
mood: crazy
Why do I date losers?
 
      1 Kiss -  Kiss Me Gently
 
   
03:07am 03/11/2005
 
mood: depressed
What it is with my chronic inability to maintain a mature relationship.

Bah.

I'm in love and it hurts.
 
      Kiss Me Gently