My pointless suicidal LJ posts are such wastes of electronic time and space.

I actually just took an online quiz that told me I'm like John Kusack in some movie where he's suicidal and depressed. Which is fucking amazing.

My life is shit. And I really couldn't care less LOL.

Harry Potter 6 comes out on Saturday. Which means I will disappear for however long it takes for me to read that book. Which means that I will probably be back sometime Saturday night.

The man has not called. After numerous panic attacks, reassurances by friends, reinstatement of doubts by friends, kisses, hugs, and affection all by the friends, a tarot reading and a Magic Eight Ball that said good things, I'm not feeling any better about it. I just want to call his brains out until he picks up out of frustration and tells me never to ever call him ever again.

Because getting my heart smashed has become quietly comforting. I'm so fucking used to it and familiarity makes me smile.

Sammie Dercher better be fucking having fun and falling in love with Israelites. Someone needs to be in love. I need sex and a sugar daddy. Apparently.

I was offered to be in porn. Unfortunately, the porn world has no idea that I'm still 17. And neither does the Colosseum who thinks I'm 22. Holla.

I just need to be happy and free and in love and to share these wonderful night where I sit out in my backyard looking at the fireflies with someone who means everything to me. Dammit. Why is that so hard for people?

EUGH. My situation is lamentable. I wish I had the capacity to comprehend Dorit's LJ. She's so intelligent goddammit.

And I really envy that Sabrina's never been in love and still a virgin and all that shit. I wish I had all that to look forward to again. I don't have any of that anymore.

I've fucked up my life SOOOOO MUCH it's unbearable. WHY GOD WHY?